Christopher* talks about growing up in Poland, coming to terms with his sexuality and finding freedom in the UK
RAINBOW WORLD
Growing up on a farm in a small village in Poland, I knew from a young age that I was different; that rural life wasn’t for me. I’m now 32 and work in hospitality in London, after coming here just before Brexit. My sister was living here and had a spare room. I love all the city has to offer: culture, nightlife, people from all walks of life and everyone with different outlooks. I don’t think I’ll ever go back.
People in Poland can be small-minded and homophobic, and are extremely influenced by the teachings of the Polish Catholic Church. I wasted so much time learning about religion at school — now I’m an atheist! I recently went back to Poland for a wedding, and the priest was talking about how married couples must honour masculine and feminine roles. This made me roll my eyes. I even know Polish emigrants my age who are still conservative about gender, sexuality and religion.
Despite this, I had a happy upbringing. There were only eight kids in my class at primary school, and we all got on well. There were a few more by secondary [school], including one who bullied me for being gay, but it was nothing I couldn’t handle. I didn’t even realise I was gay until I was 15. I came out at high school to a few close friends. At university in Warsaw, I never denied my sexuality, but I wasn’t outspoken about it, either.
My family have never had a problem with my sexuality, but we rarely talk about it. My mother wants me to marry my female roommate here in London and have kids. (We do share a cat.) It’s awkward, but it’s only because she worries about there being no one to care for me when I’m old. My dad recently asked me if I had “a man”, which was a first!
Not everyone I’ve met has been so lucky. I had a boyfriend at university, and although we eventually broke up, I continued to care for him. Sadly, some time later, he took his own life. I know he had difficulty accepting his sexuality — on the inside, he was desperately sad. His family were super religious. His mother used to crawl to the church to pray the gay away. It took me years to process losing him. I was a shell of a human being for a long time.
Poland has seen some progress: there are more publicly LGBTQ people than ever before, and small quee
