After finding out she had a rare condition, Amarjit Bhambra-Mills, 41, wondered if she’d ever have her own, biological child. But a life-changing offer from someone close made her dreams come true…
Sitting in the doctor’s office with my mum, I shifted nervously in my chair. “I have the results from your operation,” he said gently. “I’m sorry, but you don’t have a womb, Amarjit.” It was September 1999 and I was only 18. It was a shock, but his words didn’t sink in at first. I’d had the surgery to investigate what was going on after not starting my periods. My mum Sukhjinder had wondered if I was a late bloomer, but when they still hadn’t come on at 17, I’d gone to the doctor.
I’d been referred to a specialist in gynaecology and they had performed a procedure. And now they were telling me I had a rare condition called Mayer-Rokitansky-Küster-Hauser, or MRKH Syndrome. I was born with it, but the cause was unknown. A week later, I found myself sat in the doctor’s office. I’d never thought deeply about wanting children – Ijust assumed it was something I’d decide later down the line. I was young and single. But now I wanted to know… would it be possible in the future?
“The good news is you have both ovaries and would be genetically able to have your own child,” the doctor began. “But because you don’t have a womb, you won’t be able to carry a baby.” My head whirled with a million questions. It felt as if someone had stolen something precious from me.
The doctor said I could have a normal sex life, but I would need to use dilators to stretch my vagina. Every evening for a few months, Mum would say, “Go upstairs love, we won’t disturb you.” I’d lock myself in my room for 15 minutes and do what needed to be done. It was painful, but I told myself that the future me would be thankful.
Soon, I started uni and met my first serious boyfriend. It took me months to build up the courage to tell him about my condition, but to my relief, he was understanding. We were together for five years, but sadly, in 2005, we drifted apart.
I spent my twenties focused on my career as a nurse, and although I dated,d, I didn’t meet anyone I felt strongly about. Then, in 2012, when I was 31, I met Harrison at work and knew he was special. But I wanted to be honest from the start, so, as we were sat on the sofa one night, I said, “I’ve got something to tell you…” I got upset as I told him, but Harrison wrapped his arms round me. Afterwards, I said, “If you want to leave me, you can.” But Harrison shook his head. “I’m not leaving,” he assured me. “There are other ways we can have children.” Relief washe
