real life
Jacqueline White, 48, spent years searching for Mr Right. But she wanted a family more – and wasn’t prepared to wait any longer…
Reading the message on the screen, my heart sank. “Fancy a bit of no-strings-attached fun?” it read. Rolling my eyes, I slammed my laptop shut. “Where have all the good guys gone?” I thought. I’d never had much luck with men. After a serious relationship in my twenties, nothing ever lasted longer than a few months.
Over the years, I’d signed up to countless dating sites and gone out with a few guys, but most of them were only after one thing and I just wasn’t into anything casual. But after being let down, dumped and ghosted, I resigned myself to being single. However, I desperately wanted to be a mum and having a family the traditional way was starting to feel increasingly unlikely. So, I made a decision – if I hadn’t met someone by the time I was 35, then I would have a baby on my own. I don’t think my friends took me seriously and, when I hit 35, I couldn’t quite bring myself to give up hope of finding The One either.
However, two years on and no further forward, I took matters into my own hands. I found a website full of potential co-parents and I got chatting to a gay man who wanted to have a baby. Over the next months, we got to know each other better, chatting regularly and meeting for dinner. And eventually, we agreed we’d try for a baby together. He’d book a hotel room and would go and deposit his sperm in a jam jar. Then he’d leave and I’d go to the room with my syringe to do my bit. We tried this for six months, but with no success. By now I was 38 and could feel time slipping away. So, after yet another failed attempt, I decided to try another way…
Having tried the DIY method, I went to a clinic instead and had three rounds of artificial insemination using donor sperm.
But after my hopes were dashed again the third time, my consultant said, “You should think about using donor eggs. You only have a five per cent chance of conceiving using your own eggs.”
It felt like my dreams of becoming a mum to my own baby were slipping away from me.
Refusing to give up on having a child that was biologically mine, I found a clinic in Cyprus and tried again with donor sperm. Back at home, in Biggar, South Lanarkshire, I waited then had a blood test. Then, my doctor called with the results. “I’m pleased to tell you that you’re pregnant!” she said. Shocked, tears streamed down my face. I called my mum straightaway to tell her the good news.
My pregnancy progressed well and, at 20 weeks, I disco
