real life
What should have been a dream holiday for Sue Kirk, 41, turned into a nightmare. But it was the push she needed to ditch the pounds for good…
As a young girl my weight was never an issue, but when I started secondary school, the pounds started to pile on. I enjoyed a healthy diet at home, but when my mum gave money for the bus, I’d walk to the shops to buy chocolate, crisps and cakes.
I had a relatively small friendship group, and I always felt like an outsider. I was always trying to fit in, but then the more weight I put on, the less I did. It was a vicious circle. I’d go home miserable, and eating was my comfort. After having one of my mum’s healthy dinners, I’d go up to my bedroom and indulge in crisps, sweets and chocolate and I did it all in secret. I’d eat as much as I could before I ran out or felt sick. At 16, I started working in a supermarket and when I finished my shift, I’d buy all the reduced-price bakery items and squirrel them away. The weight crept on, and the guilt kicked in about my secret eating. I was a size 16 and I’d dabble with diets, cut down and lose some weight, but I wouldn’t be able to sustain it so then I felt a failure and I’d eat more.
At 25, I had my daughter, Isla, now 15, and I just got bigger and bigger. For breakfast I’d have sugary cereal or four pieces of heavily buttered white toast with jam and a Danish pastry from the coffee shop on the way to my job as a finance worker. Lunch was a huge baguette filled thickly with an entire packet of chicken liver pate, and crisps. I’d regularly grab takeaways such as McDonald’s and pizzas. Then I’d polish off a sharing pouch of Revels, Minstrels or Maltesers as well as a bag of crisps. Over the weekend I’d have a bottle of wine or a whisky and Coke.
Then, in 2016 I booked Isla and I a dream holiday to Florida and that was the turning point. It was the first time Isla had been away and it was supposed to be a fantastic holiday, with me, my daughter, and my mum. But instead of enjoying myself, I spent the entire time embarrassed about my size and paranoid about everybody looking at me.
After a day by the pool, I f licked through the photos when one popped up of a woman sitting by the pool with a towel around her.
“That can’t be me!” I gasped when the realisation hit that it was. Another day was spent at Discovery Cove to swim with the dolphins and they took a picture of me and Isla – but I couldn’t bear to look at it. It should have been something I treasured and that I looked back on fondly. But I knew after one glance that it would be hidden away in the loft because I hated the way I looked.
It then dawned on me that I barely had any photos with Isla – I didn’t take her
