bella debate
With childcare costs soaring, more and more retired grandparents are being asked to step up their duties. So, we ask…
No
I’m the biggest fan of grandparent-grandchildren relationships, having had a wonderful bond with my grandma in particular. Maybe this is why I’d love to be a granny one day.
Yet, should that happen, if my son actually expected me to look after his kids, I wouldn’t just say no, I’d be thoroughly annoyed.
I’ll happily babysit now and then. I might stretch to the little one(s) staying over very occasionally, although only once they’re past the “up at night” stage – one bad sleep wipes me out even now when I’m barely into my fifties. But acting as some sort of geriatric Mary Poppins on a regular basis is not part of my later life plan.
Like many women of my generation, I only became a mum in my thirties. If my son becomes a father around a similar age then I’ll be in my mid to late sixties and will want to be taking life easy and indulging in my retirement hobbies, not changing nappies, pushing prams and traipsing after boisterous toddlers all day. I’ve done my shift with all that.
The thing is, most people choose to start a family and you can’t expect others to pick up the bill for that, even your own mother. Similarly, I won’t oblige my son to be my main carer if I get infirm in old age.
I understand that childcare and life generally is expensive for young parents and I’d be happy to help now and then but I want spending time with my grandchildren to remain a joy not become an exhausting chore or an obligation I’ll one day resent.
Yes
As a mum of two daughters, Ruby, 16 and Mabel, eight, if someone offers me help, I grab
