Clare O’Connell, 38, is proud of how far she’s come
While all my friends were wearing skimpy handkerchief tops and miniskirts when we were in our teens, I was wearing boring black trousers and loose-fitting tops to cover my size 16 shape. I longed to wear the clothes that they did on a night out but I just thought that's the way I was and the way I would always be, and there was nothing I could do about it.
By my early twenties, I’d met John and we moved in together. I was at my happiest when we were cuddled up on the sofa, watching TV and sharing a big bag of Haribo. We’d often order a Chinese takeaway or I’d pop a lasagne or spaghetti carbonara in the microwave and serve it with some tiger loaf bread. We’d have some ice-cream too or a slice of my favourite Victoria sponge cake, Before I knew it, I was wearing a size 24. I would occasionally try and diet but could never stick to anything long enough to see results.
When John proposed, we set the date for August 2012 and my aunty offered to make my dress. “I just want to be covered up,” I said. Even though it was a summer wedding, I had long sleeves and the dress was covered in lace. I didn’t want any of me on show. It was a lovely day but I felt uncomfortable posing for photos.
John and I really wanted to start a family but as I had been diagnosed with PCOS I knew it would be a struggle. But eventually I fell pregnant and we couldn’t have been happier. Maggie was born in August 2014 and just 10 months later, I was lucky enough to fall pregnant again with a little boy, Chester.
Being a mum to two young children was exhausting and I didn’t ever have time to eat properly. I’d have toast for breakfast, egg on toast for lunch and then snack on more toast throughout the day. It wasn’t unusual for me to get through an entire loaf in one sitting. I felt like I had lost myself. I felt unwell. I ached all the time. “I’m not OK, I’m not healthy,” I thought. But I didn’t know what to do about it. Then, on Christmas Day in 2016, I struggled to get down on the floor to help the children open their presents, which made me sad. As we sat down at the table for lunch, my mum took a photo of us all.
When I saw it, I was horrified. “What have you done?” I said. I immediately thought that she’d used a wide lens on the camera by mistake. But then I looked at John and the children and realised they looked normal… I was stunned. “Is that what
