Our celebrity agony aunt, Vanessa Feltz, tackles your problems with her usual wit, wisdom and humour
SHE’S DRINKING TOO MUCH…
Hi Vanessa, I’m getting really worried about my daughter. She’s recently separated from her son’s dad and has been hitting the booze big time. She won’t listen to me when I tell her to stop – she just thinks I’m being an ‘annoying mum’. But it’s getting really quite serious. She couldn’t pick her boy up from school last week as she’d fallen asleep on the sofa and the school had rung her ex instead to get him. I’ve even had my grandson stay with me some weekends, just so I know he’s being properly looked after while she sorts herself out and tries to get through her heartache. She’s not an alcoholic, but I am worried she could eventually be.
Your daughter is going through a rough time emotionally and struggling to cope with the fallout from her break-up. Sleeping through your child’s school pick-up time strikes me as a cry for help. She is signalling to everyone: her ex, the school, her friends and family, that she is desperately unhappy and needs support. You are right to be concerned about her drinking. It’s clear she’s using alcohol as an emotional crutch. Have a chat with friends and relatives. Come up with a plan to make sure she’s not spending too much time alone. Suggest she speaks to her GP about counselling to help her through this difficult patch. You are doing the right thing having your grandson to stay at weekends. I wonder if you should ask your daughter to join in the sleepover too?
OPINIONATED FRIEND
My friend has always been very opinionated, but I think she’s gone too far. I’ve got a new partner who she’s decided she doesn’t like, and she won’t see me until I’ve ‘got rid of him’. I wouldn’t mind so much if it was for a valid reason – but she told me it’s mainly because she ‘can’t stand his taste in shirts’! Where do you go with someone like that? I don’t want to lose her as she’s been such a great friend to me for more than 20 years – but this is absolutely ridiculous…
Your friend has made her bed. Let her lie in it. She says she won’t see you until you break up with your new man.
