best for FICTION
The truth about Cats & Dogs
RUNNER-UP
‘He didn’t say anything,’ said Dog.
Cat stretched, then curled up contentedly.
‘He didn’t say anything,’ repeated Dog. ‘He always says, “Daddy’s going out’’.’ Dog shook his head with worry. ‘He didn’t say anything. He should have said something.’
Dog paced around Cat.
‘Stop fretting,’ said Cat, half asleep. ‘It’s my job to fret,’ Dog replied. ‘Daddy always explains he’s going out when he leaves the house. He didn’t say anything this time. Something’s wrong.’
Dog moved to the window, staring hopefully at the driveway. Speaking over his shoulder he said, ‘Do you suppose he has left us? Who’s going to get our food?’
Cat was engrossed in planning her forthcoming outdoor expedition. She ignored Dog’s ramblings.
‘That must be it. He’s leaving us… Cat. Cat,’ he implored. ‘You’ve got to go out and find him.’ Dog returned to Cat’s bed, and gingerly nosed her, hopping back smartly in anticipation of claws being deployed by Cat. ‘Leave me alone,’ said Cat.
‘You have to go,’ said Dog. ‘I’m too big for the cat flap.’
‘I’m not going anywhere. If you prod me again, you’ll regret it.’
Dog retreated to the window; brow furrowed in thought. This mental effort bore no fruit, so he pounced on his squeaky squirrel and shook it in frustration, then returned to the window.
‘It must be something I’ve done,’ he said, forlornly. After a while, a thought struck him, ‘Am I a nuisance?’
‘Yes,’ replied Cat.
His worst fear confirmed, Dog paced between front door, window and Cat. ‘How am I a nuisance?’ asked Dog, keen to understand.
‘Just two ways’, said Cat.
‘Just two?’ Dog perked up, encouraged by Cat’s advice. ‘Two ways. That’s nothing. I can be allowed just two ways to be annoying. What are those ways Cat? Tell me.’
‘Everything you say and everything you do,’ explained Cat.
Dog pondered this advice, eventually concluding that Cat wasn’t being serious.
Cat sighed. ‘I don’t suppose I’ll get any peace until you calm down. Let’s talk this through. Did you notice anything different these last few days?’
‘Different?’ It was almost pitiful watching Dog agonise over the question. ‘What could be different? Walkies and food were at the usual times.’
Cat persevered. ‘What about other times? What has Daddy been doing out of the ordinary? Think.’
‘Other times. I don’t much notice other times. I’m mostly asleep. Other times… You mean, the Noisy Machine?’
‘Yes,’ Cat confirmed, Daddy had been hoovering. ‘And…?’
Cat allowed the
