Jackie Rogers is a counsellor and member of the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. She works with adults and children on an array of issues including trauma, anxiety, and depression. To find out more, please visit: bacp.co.uk or serenitycounselling.co
A shocking discovery…
Q I’ve found out that my 14-year-old daughter has been self-harming. I want to be able to get her help, but I know that she’s not going to be on board with it. What is the best way to approach this?
A Sadly, self-harming is a common way many young people cope with pressures.
Firstly, try to remain calm and try and speak to your daughter about it. How is she harming herself?
Is she doing it safely? Is the equipment she is using clean? And is she cleaning any open wounds?
There are safer alternatives she could use like an elastic band to ping on her wrist.
Speak to the school and your GP to see if they can refer her to any services.
There are also charities such as youngminds.org.uk or selfharm.co.uk – they also offer advice for parents.
It’s important you look after your emotional health, too.
I feel like giving up!
Q My partner of four years has been diagnosed with depression and I’m finding it really hard to support him. When he is struggling, he pushes me away and it’s impossible to reach him. I don’t want to raise my problems as I don’t want to make him feel worse. I feel lost – what do I do?
A Seeing your loved one struggle with depression can be very difficult and I hear your concern.
When people suffer from depression they often push their loved ones away because they feel like a burden – they possibly feel ashamed, too.
The best way to support your partner is by being there and listening when he does want to talk. You can try to encourage him to contact his GP.
Your partner may be able to access counselling through the NHS, from where he works or studies, or through charities and voluntary services. Just remember, it is important that you look after yourself.
H
