PMDD SUFFERER
It was a chance conversation with a friend that finally revealed to Amy Hardy why she’d spent over 20 years suffering frightening symptoms, including suicidal thoughts. Amy, who is 39 and lives in St Leonards on Sea, East Sussex, with her husband Kristian, 40, says, “As I listened to my friend talk about being diagnosed with a hormone-based mood disorder called PMDD, it felt like a lightbulb switching on in my mind. So much of what she was describing resonated with me, from the extreme mood swings and dysphoric thoughts to the physical aches and sensitivity to sound.
“For over two decades, I’d suffered with these symptoms, and had even considered ending my life at times. But despite seeing numerous health professionals, nobody had connected it to my menstrual cycle.”
LOWEST MOMENTS
Amy’s symptoms began in 2007, when she was 24. She says, “My periods had always been heavy and painful, but from my mid-twenties things escalated. It started soon after I had the contraceptive injection, but I’ll never know for sure if that triggered it.
“For the next 21 years, I experienced a raft of symptoms. Physical ones included fatigue, muscular pain, and sensitivity to light and loud noises, while mental ones ranged from panic attacks and crippling anxiety to intense rage and suicidal thoughts.
“I remember driving on a motorway and thinking about crashing my car, because I just didn’t care if I lived or died, and also fantasising about being homeless so I could escape my life. In those lowest moments, I just didn’t want to be here. Yet on some months nothing happened, and the unpredictability meant I never spotted a pattern.
“In 2009, I was diagnosed with ME, but I didn’t believe I had it. I wondered if it was a delayed reaction to losing my mum aged 20, or whether I had a mental illness, like bipolar. It was scary not knowing.”
Amy says living with undiagnosed PMDD affected her work and relationships. She says, “I had to leave my job as a lettings agent because the stress exacerbated my symptoms, and there were days I couldn’t work as I was in pain or too anxious to leave the house. Instead, I started a small property inventory business so I could work around my health.
HUGE RELIEF
“In 2012, I married my husband, who I’d been with since we were teenagers. He had to live with someone who could be unpredictable, anxious and volatile – when I was in the grips of symptoms, just the sound of him chewing food could make me furious.
“I lost friendships because I’d cancel plans, or leave a night out because I’d start crying uncontrollably and not know why. I wasn’t a reliable friend and because my symptoms were invisible, I felt there was often less sym
