WELLBEING
YOUR GUIDE TO EMOTIONAL ISSUES & FAMILY LIFE WITH COUNSELLOR, PSYCHOTHERAPIST AND LIFE COACH ANNA WILLIAMSON
RELATIONSHIPS
Having low body confidence is shown to diminish desire, meaning we have sex less often and don’t enjoy it as much
If we feel good about ourselves, we are more likely to throw ourselves into sex. Remember that everyone finds different things attractive, so that Instagram model may be sexy to one person, but certainly not to everyone. And if you don’t like the way you look or feel, you can change things. I’ve just come off 10 weeks of filming and I’ve eaten way too many Nando’s and haven’t been exercising. I’m not going to beat myself up about it, but now I have more time I’m going to get back into running and eating a bit more healthily, because I know I feel sexier when I am fitter. Focus on the things about yourself that you do like. Even if you find it difficult to say that you “love” a certain aspect of your body, consider other things – maybe you have a banging sense of humour, or a caring personality. Our body is the shell that carries us, but there are more qualities we possess that are attractive.
People with poor body image are less satisfied with sex because they’re distracted by thoughts about how they look. For every negative thought you have during sex, replace it with a positive one. If you think, “My bottom looks massive”, replace it with, “My partner’s enjoying themselves, so clearly I’m sexy to them”. Rather than letting your thoughts wander, focus on the physical sensations you’re experiencing. Ask your partner, what they find attractive about you and believe and accept what they say. Remember, if they are enjoying having sex with you, the evidence is clear – they find you hot, so enjoy it.
