SOLO SPOUSE:
REAL LIFE
Rebecca Holberry had always wanted to get married, and being single wasn’t going to get in her way!
Luxuriating in the comfort of the bridal suite, Rebecca Holberry reflected happily on her wedding day. But there was no need to share the king-size bed with anyone, because this wedding didn’t feature a groom – to celebrate her 40th birthday she’d married herself.
She’d always wanted to get married and even planned her wedding meticulously with Pinterest and Excel spreadsheets. But after two tough break-ups, she decided she wanted some time by herself. It turned out she loved the single life, and as Rebecca approached 40, she discovered she no longer even wanted to get married… to someone else! She says, “Instead, I wanted to celebrate myself and all the challenges I’ve overcome!”
MOOD BOARDS
Rebecca, from Stockport, first started planning her wedding in 2011 after being out of work for five months. She says, “It was miserable spending all day job-hunting, so sometimes I’d escape by planning my wedding, everything from Pinterest mood boards to Excel spreadsheets of the things I’d need to buy, make or arrange. I chose a first dance song, and spent ages designing my own ideal wedding dress.”
At the time, she was dating a man named Daniel*, and while Rebecca had let him know how important marriage was to her, he was reluctant to tie the knot. By New Year’s Eve of 2012, the two had been dating for many years, and he still had no intention of proposing.
She says, “We were supposed to be hosting a New Year’s Eve party that night, but somehow we got into an argument about marriage. I told him that if he wasn’t sure about me by now, then our relationship was over. The party was cancelled and after that we broke up for good.”
Rebecca decided to keep looking for a husband, even adding “no marriage-phobes” to her dating profile. It wasn’t long before she met a man named Tom*, who seemed to share her values, even asking her about her dream wedding on their third date. But after several years together, she discovered that he had been unfaithful.
Rebecca explains, “I had to uproot my entire life for a second time. On top of that, my beloved cat Gladys passed away. With flat deposit costs and veterinary bills, I was left £11,000 in debt. For 10 months I worked five jobs, while also dealing with a broken heart.”
Rebecca’s workplace provided her with some free counselling sessions. When asked what her goal for the course was, she said she wanted to stop caring about marriage. Her self-worth was closely tied to the idea of being a wife.
BETRAYAL
She says, “Finally, in 2019, I bought my own house and it was an incredible feeling to have something that no one could take away from me.
