Sex & the single REVISITED
IT’S BACK AND THIS IS WHAT DATING IS LIKE IN 2022...
Back in 1962, Helen Gurley Brown published Sex And The Single Girl – a love letter to single life and making the most of it. The book sold two million copies in three weeks and just a few years later, Brown went on to become the editor of Cosmopolitan US. Fast forward to the 1990s and Sex And The Single Girl got a new lease of life as a muchloved column in this very magazine, with dozens of writers sharing the ups and downs of dating over the course of almost three decades. But how have things changed since the last column ran in 2015? From first dates to setting sexual boundaries, these seven singles share how they navigate their love lives in 2022...
We were in the living room back at his flat. I thought he wasn’t interested. So, I looked into his eyes for a few seconds longer than you would normally and suddenly he kissed me, picked me up and took me into his bedroom. Then he pulled out a ‘box of tricks’. He was techy – he does programming for a big socialmedia company – and had all these gadgets for the bedroom. We’d gone from having an intellectual conversation to me being tied to the bed.
I love online dating, it opens up a whole new world – every type of person you can imagine. I’m messaging a few guys now. I was even chatting to one who had a Victorian chemistry lab. Physically, eyes draw me in. But I’ve got to be stimulated by what they have to say.
I went on a date with a guy who seemed great – worked in advertising, started doing pottery in lockdown and renovating a house – but he was ticking off topics of conversation like, ‘Okay, we’ve spoken about jobs, what next?’ It felt like an interview. I guess it’s one of the downsides of being in your thirties – people want to know, do you want kids? Where do you see yourself in the future? It’s a lot of pressure for a first date.
On and off, I’ve been seeing someone who none of my friends know about. We’re at different stages in life – he’s going to live in another country, I’m about to buy a house. Because it’s a secret, we can make our own rules.
The other day, we went to Kew Gardens and kissed under the trees. Our connection intensified through the lockdowns and we’d send each other poetry. We fell in love, but it wasn’t the plan. Now we accept this is how we feel – it’s a moment and it’s special, but it’s not long-term. Relationships can be fleeting.
Hopefully I’m going to live a long, healthy life. If I live into my eighties, that’s 50 more years – endless opportunities for new connections. Society creates this narrative that once you get to 40, it’s all over – and it’s bullshit. I could have another five great loves in my life – and I am up for it.
