Dating diaries
A peek inside the hotel rooms and private members’ clubs on sex educator Reed Amber’s very busy schedule
How to meet people IRL (yes, no apps) Page 126
How to fix your friendship Page 128
Our guide to getting off this festive season Page 129
Quiz: let’s talk about ex, baby Page 130 love
MONDAY
No fucking way. This week I matched with someone on a kinky dating app who’s into the same fetish as me: tickling. We’ve arranged to meet at a bar in north London. I look great in my favourite date dress, flawless hair and make-up and a crossbody Viv Westwood bag. He is even cuter in person. We jump into tickle chat immediately, discussing how I’m a ’lee (someone who likes to be tickled) and he’s a ’ler (someone who likes to do the tickling) – perfect match, right?
I’m really feeling this situation, so after a few drinks I invite him back to my place. We discuss everything from limits to safe words to our most ticklish spots, all the way to how we like to have sex. I ask him to tie me to my bed and use the items in my tickle box as I guide him. He is cautious and tentative as I laugh, scream and beg – I’m in heaven. Then we fuck and I come so quickly from P-in-V we’re both a little shocked. We both just lie there in complete exhaustion, disbelief and pure satisfaction. As a poly person, I have a boyfriend who I love and I’m also currently leaning into the experience of falling in love with a new couple. Now, I’m also fully open to the possibility of something with my dreamy new ’ler... (lucky me).
WEDNESDAY
This evening I’m a panellist at a sexpositive conference being held at a fancy hotel and the energy is just great. I catch up with friends and speak to fans of my podcast. I’m excited that people know who I am. My co-host and I have been given a swish room at the hotel and I’m chatting with her about whether I can use it for a few hours…
I’ve been speaking to a guy with a foot fetish via email and I want to invite him to the hotel. As a sex worker, I pride myself on making people feel more comfortable about their fetishes and working around their shame. I know my fetish is uncommon, it’s taken me years to accept it – and it can still be hard to talk about and find like-minded people – so I want others to know that having a fetish is actually really cool and that it’s totally okay.
My co-host gives me the go-ahead – on the condition that her side of the bed is spared any action – and the guy turns up to meet me. He’s pretty goodlooking (all the people I meet are pretty attractive), but I already knew this because I always ask for a photo and ID before I meet anyone.
I start by slowly peeling my socks off and talking dirty to him while he watches me. I tease this guy for ages before putting my foot directly on his face. I love t
