SHAHLA WALKER, 55, TRIED TO END HER UNHAPPY MARRIAGE – BUT HER HUSBAND REFUSED TO LET HER GO
I smile das a familiar figure came into the kitchen laden with shopping bags. Nezam had been a friend of our family for years and would pop round regularly to check if my parents needed any shopping or odd jobs done. He was a good, reliable man and I always felt safe around him. As the years passed, my feelings turned romantic, and when I was 22, we got together.
Three years after that, we got married and had a beautiful wedding day. At first, married life was great, but then Nezam struggled to find work and it took its toll on him. “I’m not happy,” he said one day. “This isn’t the life I promised you.” I tried my best to reassure him, but he started suffering anxiety. On top of that, our attempts to start a family ended in a series of devastating miscarriages. After three years, I finally gave birth to Erin, but it put more pressure on Nezam to provide for us and his mental health deteriorated. Often, he’d wake me in the night, adamant there was someone in our garden, but when I’d go outside with him to check, no one was there. I pushed Nezam to go to the GP and he was put on medication, but it didn’t seem to help.
Over the next few years, Nezam’s anxiety became so bad, he rarely left the house and he began to get funny whenever I wanted to. “Where are you going?” he demanded as I got ready one day to see a friend. After I left, he called and messaged non-stop, asking me to come back as he felt anxious without me. I returned home, but Nezam’s neediness began to feel suffocating. To make matters worse, he stopped going to his doctor’s appointments and I suspected he’d stopped taking his tablets, too. One day, I caught him smoking cannabis and lost my temper. After that, we argued all the time and he’d accuse me of irrational things like sleeping with my friends’ husbands, and would check up on me constantly. I wanted to leave, but he’d threaten suicide and promise to change.
As Erin got older, I tried my best to shield her from our arguments, but when she was 17, she told me it would be better if Nezam and I separated. “Dad’s not going to change,” she said. “Something bad might happen.” I told her he was my husband and I had to look after him, but over the next few months, I mulled over what she’d said and realised that, after 25 years, I’d had enough – I deserved better and so did my daughter. I told Nezam I wanted a divorce, but he said nothing, and didn’t look at me. “It’s Erin’s birthday tomorrow, so we’ll tell her the day after,” I said.
HORROR ATTACK
The next day, my sister Julie and I took Erin out for an 18th birthday mea
