DIALOGUE
The Wonder of shoe
It is 1991. I am sitting on the floor in my bedroom. I’ve just booted up Super Mario Bros 3 on my little 14-inch CRT TV. I have watched the Fred Savage movie The Wizard and never wanted to play a game more. As the levels pass by, I’m thrilled, excited and blown away. After the weirdness of Super Mario Bros 2, which always felt alien, 3 feels like a return to form. Then I come to my favourite level, 5-3. Those of an older persuasion may remember this one: the Goomba’s Shoe level. I remember jumping into the clockwork green shoe and proceeding to bounce through the whole map with a grin across my face. After the level is finished, I get excited, hoping to see the shoe on another level. It never comes. It blows my mind that Nintendo has created a whole mechanic for a level that took two minutes to beat. Something that changed the movement, mechanics, and even the look of the lead, only to never be seen again.
Fast-forward to Christmas 2023. I’m laid up with the flu, and I boot up Super Mario Bros Wonder. Slowly, as a combination of analgesics and Nintendo magic soothe my ageing bones, a familiar smile blooms across my face. They’ve made an entire game based on the premise of Goomba’s Shoes! As the levels blur into a kaleidoscope of colour and joy, I laugh croaky laughs, hoot with joy and marvel that a series that has been with me my whole life can still astound and amaze.
Yes, I loved Baldur’s Gate 3. I loved Tears Of The Kingdom. But there is something almost sacrilegious about the idea that Mario, 30-odd years on, can still thrill, amaze and bring me childlike joy. Oh, to be a little Mario in a bouncing shoe!
Yes, Wonder’s rush of delights could s0 easily have felt like idea overkill, but it boils down to: ‘Imagine 3D Lemmings, but the controls are rubbish’” possesses a strange and irresistible magic that cuts through the thickest layer of cynicism. Anyway, since we can’t exactly offer you a shoe to bounce around in, hopefully an Edge T-shirt will suffice.
Oh, the Humanity
I’m sorry, OK. I tried to love Humanity, I really did. But despite being clever, intelligent, and surprisingly moving at times, my god, it can be really annoying. Anyway, that’s enough of my nihilistic tendencies for now. By strange coincidence, these are actually the exact same feelings I have towards the videogame Humanity, which I’ve just been playing. While I can definitely appreciate that the game has some serious quality, I’m afraid for me it just keeps boiling down to: ‘Imagine playing 3D Lemmings, but the controls are rubbish’. I’m not sure who felt that L
