Pipe dream

SOMEHOW — DECADES AFTER THE ORIGINAL CULT-CLASSIC — A GANG OF LUNATICS HAVE REMADE THE TOXIC AVENGER . AS THE POLLUTED MUTANT RAMPAGES ANEW, WE DELVE INTO THE SLIME

THREE minutes,” the man in the suit announced to the room, his clipboard clutched in his hands. His words triggered a wave of panic among the entrants to Sunnywade’s Grand Summer Talent Contest 1967.

From a home in England’s West Midlands, to Knebworth and Live Aid with Led Zep and back, via fame, fortune, tragedy and musical resurrection – ROBERT PLANT ’ s come full circle. A new album with local heroes Saving Grace exemplifies his hard rock apostasy, the reason he’d rather worship Nora Brown than hang with Axl Rose. And if all else fails? “I’ll just be an Elvis impersonator!” he tells KEITH CAMERON .

In AD 897, Pope Formosus was put on trial for the crimes of perjury, coveting the papacy and violating canon law by holding more than one bishopric at a time. In truth, the whole thing was a spectacle

NOBODY MAKES CINEMA LIKE JAMES CAMERON. AND TO PROVE IT, HE INVITES EMPIRE T O SHADOW HIM FOR 48 HOURS AS HE COMPLETES HIS MOST AMBITIOUS MOVIE YET: AVATAR: FIRE AND ASH . HOLD ON TO YOUR IKRAN…

There are many highs to cruising around the Adriatic in high summer and getting paid for the pleasure but somehow it’s the shuddering lows that stick in the mind. Given that it is a very human trait t