THE TRIGGER
It’s all about Wanda-lust. Wanda Nara, that is, the model and wife of former Barcelona forward Maxi Lopez – or she was, until they announced their divorce in 2013. Five months later, she married Mauro Icardi. Lopez was Icardi’s hero, then team-mate at Sampdoria, even something of a mentor – it’s like Luke Skywalker eloping with Mrs Kenobi.
THE FEUD
After Wanda and Mauro wed, the ink-loving striker added insult to injury by getting the names of Maxi’s three kids with Nara tattooed on his arm – it’s a wonder he didn’t turn up at Lopez’s house and try to lure away his dog, to really rub it in. That soap opera added spice to their on-field meetings, and Lopez turned swerving handshakes into an art form. Inter vs Torino in 2016 was particularly sweet: he scratched his balls, left the cad hanging and went home with an away win.
THE REVENGE
Maxi made a few outbursts but mainly just bided his time until Mauro messed up. The love triangle became a love, er, rectangle last year when Icardi was accused of an affair with actress China Suarez. On social media, Wanda hit back with a picture of her now ringless hand, the message “ruined another family”, then a photograph of she and Lopez together again.
THE OUTCOME
While Lopez has recently been part of a consortium to buy Birmingham, Icardi and Wanda reconciled, then reportedly unreconciled. Mauro is now 29, the same age that Lopez was when Wanda traded him in. Expect Icardi’s bid to buy the Blues in around 2031...
Si Hawkins
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COULD BE New side set up by Anton Du Beke, sashaying their way around the pitch to the Strictly Come Dancing theme tune, befuddling opponents before sneakily kicking the ball in the net. ACTUALLY One of the best teams on the Caribbean island of Anguilla, recording a 21-1 triumph over Eagle Claw FC in early May, before half the team left and they withdrew from the play-offs, won by Roaring Lions FC. Never change, Anguilla...
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