...Christmas, things can get pretty silly – featuring Middlesbrough, Gazza and a pitch-invading Santa streaker
WEIRD WORLD OF FOOTBALL
1 “RAY PARLOUR, IS THAT YOU?”
When Middlesbrough hosted Newcastle United in a Tyne-Tees derby clash in December 1998, two of the crowd had a secret plan.
Newly promoted Boro had signed Paul Gascoigne from Rangers that summer and lost just two of their opening 15 Premier League matches, in an odd start to the campaign which yielded 10 draws in their first 18 games in all competitions.
Relentless stalemates didn’t keep the crowds away: among the 34,000 at the Newcastle fixture were stripper Rachel Sadler and pal Vanessa Richards, who both invaded the pitch, charging towards Gazza “in an attempt to cheer him up”. With Sadler wearing nothing but a G-string, and Richards sporting an increasingly revealing Santa costume [above], the plan sort of worked – Gazza nervously giggled away, shouting, “You can’t do this to me”, as Richards attempted to jump on his back.
The duo were later both banned from the Riverside Stadium and, having been escorted out, missed the end of the match. Not that there was any doubt about the outcome – it was a draw, of course.
2 “BOSS, IT’S AUGUST?”
Sheffield United tended to start seasons slowly in the early ’90s, so boss Dave Bassett had an idea – celebrate Christmas in August, and see if the players start reproducing their post-festivities form.
In 1992 then, they laid on a pub Christmas party, with decorations and crackers – Bassett even posed as Santa for the programme for their opening game against Man United.
It worked: Brian Deane bagged the Premier League’s first-ever goal inside five minutes as the Blades won 2-1, although they then lost five of their next six games to drop to second-bottom of the table. Maybe they should have had a Christmas party every week...
3 JUMPING THE SHARK
If there’s one thing we all know in life, it’s that nothing says Christmas quite like Bojan Krkic posing inside the mouth of a giant shark.
The forward was at the height of his Barcelona fame in December 2009, when he made the trip to the city’s aquarium, swam with sharks while wearing a snorkel and Santa hat (because, why not?), then was asked to pose inside a prehistoric jaw.
Despite the creature having died thousands of years earlier and posing no threat at all, the look of uncertainty on Bojan’s face [above] suggests he probably had a deep-seated fear of such menacing gnashers – no wonder he quit the Camp Nou for good a week after Luis Suarez’s arrival in 2014.
4 JESUS CHRIST: SON OF
