A BEE ON AN ARROW, AN ELEPHANT VOLUNTEERING FOR THE RED CROSS AND A LION LOOKING FOR A FIGHT THE 92’S CLUB CRESTS: RANKED
Separating the diabolical badges from luscious logos – where does your side sit in our rundown?
Words Tom Hancock
Football teams never even used to display badges on the front of their shirts, let alone lucrative sponsors. Now, the very DNA of an institution is woven into the fabric of your club (we’re talking about the crest, not the generic betting firm logo emblazoned on the middle of the strip).
Like with anything football-related, sides scampered off in a multitude of directions – some prefer to showcase their city’s coat of arms or a symbol representative of the location; others’ icons have evolved into a simplistic shape surrounding an emblem in the centre. And then there’s all creatures great and small, from lions and tigers to the birds and the bees, via horses, hats, pirates and even the depiction of a legendary ex-player.
Each of the 92 has something unique to offer, so let’s rattle through the good, the bad and the bonkers of the Premier League and Football League...
92
BURTON ALBION
Burton-on-Trent is known for its beer brewing, though did the football club have to incorporate that quite so literally into their crest? At least the big fella should be difficult to shrug off the ball.
91
HULL CITY
If you’ve never come across the book Crap Taxidermy, check it out – because that’s where Hull’s badge belongs (and that’s before we get on to the fur pattern that’s more leopard than tiger).
90
FULHAM
You’d think one of the basics of devising a logo would be to align the letters so people can read them without crooking their neck at a muscle-aching angle, wouldn’t you? Well, Fulham didn’t think that.
89
CHELTENHAM TOWN
What do you see: a heavily stylised robin, or a giant red fish preparing to gobble up a smaller red fish? Cheltenham’s emblem is supposed to represent the former, but we prefer the alternative interpretation.
88
MK DONS
OK, so it’s tough for your crest to ooze tradition when you were founded less than 20 years ago, but could MK Dons not have come up with something a bit better than a bargain bin bottle opener?
87
STEVENAGE
It’s actually the Hertfordshire Hart, but the focal point of Boro’s badge could so easily be a giraffe wearing some novelty antlers. And, hang on a minute, is this not just Brentford’s version rehashed?
86
SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY
Why is the owl fluttering its eyelashes? Why are its eyes at a 90-degree angle in the first place? And why are they shaped like a human’s eyes!? It’s a right old hoot
