Long before Ted Lasso’s AFC Richmond, Roy Race’s Melchester made it big – as did several other fictional teams
THE HURRICANES
An animated tour de force on either side of the Atlantic in the mid-90s, the Hurricanes starred on ITV featuring characters inspired by famous names, including Scottish boss ‘Jock Stone’. Owned by a 16-year-old girl, they’d go off on wacky global trips – opponents included the Cairo Pharaohs and the Inverfinnan Celtics, a weird combo of Celtic, Inverness and, er, Steve Finnan?
COCO UNITED
In a Coco Pops TV ad released during the 1994 World Cup, Coco United were 10-0 behind to Amazon Forest at halftime – not even 2005’s Rafael Benitez would have fancied his chances of a comeback. But spitting in the face of the superstition about not touching the cup before you’ve won it, Coco the Monkey filled the trophy with milk and Coco Pops – an astounding turnaround ensued, as they grabbed a late winner. Speaking to Des Lion (groan) after the match, Coco pointed to his decision to turn the milk ‘all chocolatey’ as the inspiration behind one of the Jungle World Cup’s greatest ever comebacks.
MELCHESTER ROVERS
During Roy Race’s initial 40-year stint at Melchester, the club bagged a mere nine league titles, eight FA Cups, three League Cups, three European Cups, one UEFA Cup, four Cup Winners’ Cups and a partridge in a pear tree. The team also signed Emlyn Hughes and appointed Geoff Boycott as chairman, and the drama didn’t end there: Race was shot and fell into a deep coma, eight players were killed in a terrorist attack and he ended his long career in the traditional fashion by picking up a bad injury… from crashing a helicopter he’d been piloting.
HOUNSLOW HARRIERS
During the 2002 movie Bend It Like Beckham, west London’s leading amateur women’s team took quite a lax approach to player-coach romantic relations, but you couldn’t argue with their stellar results on the field. Jesminder, Jules, Joe & Co successfully clinched the vaguely named ‘championship’ – Jules’ classic Copa Mundial boots suggested that Keira Knightley’s character might be something of a no-nonsense hard nut, which only made her Ronaldo-esque stepover to round the goalkeeper and score in the final against QPR all the more impressive. Jesminder’s slo-mo free kick, all soundtracked to Nessun Dorma, secured the dramatic victory.
WIRRAL COUNTY
In the TV series sequel to Mike Bassett: England Manager, Bassett has lost the national job after a disastrous Euros qualifying campaign, been relegated with Newcastle, then been sacked by a lower leag
