Playing off the last defender, it’s the big-man-little-man partnership of football and funnies...
THE BEAUTIFUL GAME
“YOUR DRIVER’S NAME IS DIEGO”
NAPLES, ITALY
The only dampener was that ‘you know who’ wasn’t there to see it. Napoli’s first Serie A title since Diego Maradona & Co won the 1989-90 Scudetto came over two years after the local deity’s death, as Victor Osimhen’s goal in a 1-1 May draw at Udinese sparked frenzied celebrations. Bankrupt in 2004, the Little Donkeys’ 33-year wait was over, the US consulate warning of “heavy traffic, use of fireworks and alcohol consumption in the city”. Diego’s party 100 miles up will have been no less manic.
Photo Laura Lezza/Getty
TUNNEL OF DEATH
MANCHESTER, ENGLAND
Erling Haaland’s record-breaking Premier League haul earned the Norwegian goal-bot a guard of honour from his Manchester City team-mates after beating Alan Shearer and Andy Cole’s 34-strike campaigns. No kicking, lads...
Photo Isaac Parkin/MCFC/Getty
GARY MCALLISTER GAMES THAT CHANGED MY LIFE
Sheffield United 2-3 Leeds
April 26, 1992
First Division
“A lot’s said about the Leeds midfield of Gordon Strachan, David Batty, Gary Speed and myself, but we had great players all over the park: Mel Sterland, Chrissy Whyte, Chris Fairclough, Tony Dorigo, and John Lukic was a brilliant goalkeeper, too. Up front we had Lee Chapman, Rod Wallace and then Eric Cantona joined from Nimes in January, so it wasn’t just about a good midfield. It was down to a massive squad effort and team spirit. We weren’t a fancied side, even though we’d done well the season before, but Leeds are similar to Liverpool in the fact that once you get a bit of momentum, it snowballs and is very special. We won the title, really, at midday against Sheffield United, then Liverpool did us a big favour by beating Manchester United in the afternoon.”
Scotland 0-2 England
June 15, 1996
Euro 96
“The first time I captained my country, against Switzerland in qualifying for the 1994 World Cup, was amazing. But as much as it turned out to be one of the worst days of my life, leading Scotland out at Wembley to take on England at a major tournament felt unbelievable. During the pandemic, all of the games from that summer were shown on TV. I’d never watched the England match back because of the penalty I missed – when Uri Gellar made the ball move! It was such a long time ago but, seeing it recently, I realised just how much we dominated the game. There’s no doubt in my mind that the result would have been different had I netted the penalty. England took the initiative after David Seaman saved it. Had I scored, I think we’d probab
