...Sydney, the Women’s World Cup was welcomed in fitting fashion: by a topless man?
WEIRD WORLD OF FOOTBALL
When Australia’s authorities got their heads together and discussed how to welcome the beginning of the Women’s World Cup, it’s probable that various options were mooted.
Dancing kangaroos, of course, were surely the first preference, until it was pointed out that a) kangaroos don’t dance and b) they can be very, very violent, not ideal for a family event.
That ruled out the crocodile, the dingo and the Tasmanian devil, too, and frankly, no-one’s interested in a dancing koala.
“What about some women, playing football?” someone else probably sensibly suggested, before being informed that they were taking it a bit too literally.
Instead, what happened was that thousands of people were invited to gather at dawn at the Sydney Harbour Bridge, then march across it, led by a trio of topless blokes. They weren’t just any topless blokes, it must be said – this wasn’t the Tango Man or Jimmy Five Bellies, they were indigenous performers, carrying out a smoking ceremony.
Complete with face and body paint, one chap set a shrub on fire, while another guy warbled away on a didgeridoo, in what’s regarded as a traditional ritual to welcome visitors.
We’re not sure what the third bloke was doing: presumably missing a penalty or something, in homage to Diana Ross.
HELL HATH NO FURY
Brazil’s judiciary came up with a novel idea to curb fan violence at Sport Recife: for their home match against near neighbours ABC, only women and children were allowed to attend.
That decision was taken as punishment for previous fan incidents, but it didn’t go quite as well as they’d hoped: before the first half was even over at the 32,000-capacity Estadio Ilha do Retiro, both sets of female supporters started to hurl abuse at each other, then home fans tried to storm the away end.
Next time, only let babies in, and see if tha
