Be inspired
‘I gave love another shot’
Three readers who have been through tough times share how they found the resilience to turn their lives around for the better
After raising two sons on her own and experiencing loss and heartbreak, Hyacinth Myers, 51, kept motivated – and didn’t give up hope.
When I was in my late 20s, I thought I had my whole life mapped out in front of me. I’d completed a degree in social policy and criminal justice, I was engaged to be married and I’d moved to Birmingham from London to live with my fiancé. We had just become parents and we were busy raising our baby boy, who was born in 1998.
But when our son was five months old, my fiancé broke off the engagement. He wouldn’t explain his decision, but I think the stress of a new baby was too much. I had no friends in Birmingham and, as my son’s father was only going to be involved some weekends, I decided that we’d be better off moving back to east London where my family and friends were.
My sister looked after my son along with her young children while I returned to my old job for the local council. I was fortunate to have my family around me, but those years were tough.
For a long time, I was still in shock following the break-up. I put all my energy into raising my son. I was determined to be a good mum.
When my son was seven, I met a man online. Looking back, I wasn’t ready to date. I think the desire came from a place of loneliness. I decided to meet him in real life and we had a relationship. At first, it was nice having company and someone to speak to, but five months down the line, I realised we were very different people and it wasn’t going to work out. It wasn’t meant to be.
Shortly after we broke up, I discovered that I was pregnant with twins. The father didn’t want anything to do with me or the pregnancy, so I decided I’d raise them on my own.
In 2006, the boys were born at 23 weeks. I was so frightened when my waters broke prematurely. They spent their first three weeks under close observation in intensive care. While one twin was slowly growing stronger, his brother was getting weaker. He died in hospital at 23 days old. It was heartbreaking. Doctors listed prematurity as the cause of death. I was terrified the same would happen to his twin; it was a traumatic time. My other son came home when he was six and a half months old, but due to problems with his lungs and heart, he was in and out of hospital throughout childhood.
Life was busy. I was focused on raising my sons and, after the heartbreak I had been through, I wasn’t interested in seeking out another relationship.
