Talking Point
Ellie Fennell meets the women working to combat romance scammers, revealing the misconceptions around the victims and how evolving technology is making scams increasingly hard to detect
Romance fraud can cause financial and emotional devastation, but media portrayals of victims foolishly ‘falling for’ online seducers mean it’s often not taken seriously. However, victims are far from the stereotypes we’ve come to expect and the crime can have far-reaching consequences.
In 2023, the National Fraud Intelligence Bureau (NFIB) received 8,036 reports of romance fraud across all age groups with an average loss of £11,500. Given that police estimate only one in 10 victims report this crime, the true scale is much larger. According to Censuswide, more than a third of Brits have either been targeted themselves or know someone who has.
Scammers are often part of global crime networks. ‘Scam schools’ all over the world train fraudsters to forge online relationships and exploit them for financial gain. The proceeds then fund serious organised crime such as drugs, guns, prostitution and even human trafficking. The top four locations are currently Nigeria, Ghana, Canada and Southeast Asia. The problem is getting worse, as Barclays reported a 51% increase in romance fraud in 2023.
TAKING ON THE FRAUDSTERS
Becky Holmes, 45, from Stratford-upon-Avon, has written an eye-opening book about romance fraud, based on her experiences, titled Keanu Reeves Is Not In Love With You after being wooed by 82 fake ‘Keanu Reeves’es during her research.
It all started by accident when she joined Twitter (now X) during the first lockdown in 2020. She was flabbergasted to find that her inbox immediately filled with messages from impossibly handsome men who seemed desperate to get to know her. Realising these were not legitimate accounts, Becky initially deleted and blocked the messages. When they continued, she decided to have some fun by replying to the fraudsters with ridiculous comments, then posting pictures of their replies online.
As her Twitter following grew, Becky started to get direct messages from people who had been victims of romance fraud. They told her about both the financial and emotional toll it had taken on them. She’s used what she learned as the basis of her book, which she hopes will raise awareness of romance fraudsters and make scammers less effective.
NO TYPICAL VICTIM
One of the biggest misunderstandings about romance fraud is the stereotype of victims as lonely, older women. But according to the NFIB, the most cases in 2023 were in the 20-29 age group (18% of all cases). Just under half were reported by men, vs 40% from women (in 11% of cases the gender was unknown).
Becky focused her book on female victims and says: ‘Not one of them was stupid, lonely or unattracti
