GRAZIA
Green Dot, about a woman having an affair with a married man, is set to be one of 2024’s hottest novels. Its author, Madeleine Gray, explains why the ‘other woman’ is ripe for redemption
SEX SPECIAL
RIDING THE crimson wave of Tampongate in 1993, Camilla Parker Bowles was one of the most hated women in Britain, maybe even the world. Why?
Because she was a mistress; the ‘other woman’ in Charles and Diana’s marriage. Fast forward to 2023 and The Independent named Camilla the most influential woman of the year, and, oh yeah, – she was Queen.
It was quite the redemption arc.
In 1998, Monica Lewinsky was branded a homewrecking slut after news of her affair with President Bill Clinton broke. But now, #MeToo has shifted our understanding of erotic power differentials, and Lewinsky is seen by many as a feminist icon.
On hit show Succession, patriarch Logan Roy is a womaniser who has had two major affairs in his two marriages. Yet rather than these women being demonised, they were invited to sit front row at Roy’s funeral with his wife and ex-wife – and all were united in their grief, and in sharing the ways that Roy’s sexist entitlement had hurt them.
All of which suggests that the much maligned mistress is now being treated with more empathy and nuance. Perhaps a vibe shift is occurring, in which we are extending compassion to those who find themselves in the role of the ‘other woman’. After all, it’s not a fun position to be in. Being a mistress is understanding that your emotional needs and desires will always come second to the ‘official’ relationship. It’s a morally grey position to be in, but, unless the mistress is also in another relationship of her own, she is not breaking any vows.
And yet, 2023 was also the year of #Scandoval, in which three stars of reality show Vanderpump Rules were embroiled in a cheating scandal. In this scenario, the ‘side chick’ was not met with empathy. Rather, Rachel ‘Raquel’ Leviss was effectively cancelled after news broke that she had slept with her friend Ariana Madix’s long-term partner Tom Sandoval. Sandoval was also the target of public ire, with trolls attempting to tank his business ventures.
When two people are in a monogamous relationship, the deal is that they don’t cheat. Historically, however, it has been the mistress who has copped the most flack, and very often the man – that is, the only one in the trio who is actually cheating – escapes largely unscathed. #Scandoval is an interesting development, in that both the cheating man and the ��
