9 ‘plenty of women are virgins until later in life’

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Rebel Wilson recently shared that she lost her virginity at 35. She shouldn’t be embarrassed, says Allora Dannon

I WAS 32 WHEN I had sex for the first time. I had been dating my then-boyfriend for eight months, but I had been waiting to experience physical intimacy for what felt like forever. Recently, Rebel Wilson made the same admission in her new memoir, saying persistent body image issues put her off sex until she was 35. It was only after her mother’s cancer diagnosis that she decided to stop letting fear hold her back – after which she dated actor Mickey Gooch Jr. Now, she’s engaged to fashion designer Ramona Agruma, with whom she has a baby, and describes her sexuality as ‘fluid’.

Like Wilson, preserving my virginity was never a conscious decision. In my twenties, I wanted to embark on a ‘ho phase’ so badly, but just didn’t have it in me. I wasn’t waiting for true love, I just wanted to experience all those firsts with someone who mattered.

My virgin status never worried me as a teen. I was academic, went to college early and travelled. I put all my energy into things I knew had positive outcomes and dating always felt like the unknown. I was scared. I felt invisible to men. No one ever asked me out. I wondered, am I grotesque? What am I doing wrong? I know now, aged 33, that there was nothing wrong with me, that dating is a learned skill set and that it’s OK to wait for the experience you want to have. I tried dating apps, but I’d get creeped out. When I revealed I was inexperienced, men on apps had one of three reactions: an overtly sexual, ‘I’ll show you a whole new world,’ a freaked out, ‘You’re weird,’ or they played therapist and expected me to dump some major trauma. But there was no trauma;

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