Chris tries to discover whether his friends are selling up or not...
Chris Pascoe’s Fun Tales
Regular readers of this column will already know who Wally and Shirley are (as do most local GPs and hospitals) but for those who’ve yet to encounter them here, they’re octogenarian friends of mine, prone to multiple mishaps, broken bones and often talking in such nonsensical riddles that I’ve assigned the Looney Tunes cartoon theme as their ringtone on my phone, just as a forewarning as to what to expect.
I visited Wally and Shirley just last week and, on arrival, I was astounded to see a “For Sale” sign outside their house.
They’d been in the house 50 years, and never once mentioned they were intending to move. The following conversation is very very typical of any conversation with Wally…
“You’re moving?! I didn’t see that coming. Why are you moving,” I babbled, so quickly and excitedly I could see Wally’s eyes swimming as he tried to follow what the hell I was on about (you see, I’m no better myself).
“Moving?” he slowly repeated back to me, looking at me as if I was insane. “Why do you say that? Ah, wait, the sign. No, we’re not moving.”
30 seconds into the conversation, and I was already totally confused.
“No, no,” he continued, “We’re just seeing if anyone buys the place.”
“But…what if they do?” I asked.
“Then I suppose we’ll have to move,” he said, with a shrug.
This seemed a very peculiar way to needlessly render yourself homeless. But further clarity was to follow.
“We’re thinking of moving into one of those serviced apartments down the road.
“So if someone buys our place, we’ll buy one of those.”
“Ah!” I said, finally getting to grips with it all, so you are moving!”
“No,” said Wally. And that was the end of the matter as far as he was concerned.
A little later, sitting having a cup of tea with the couple who’d soon be moving,
