Chris finds himself in the middle of strange conversation...
Chris Pascoe’s Fun Tales
Years ago, in a city pub, I settled down on a bar stool, only for a woman to occupy the seat alongside me and start chatting.
I never, ever get chatted up, and I’m assuming this is because most women find me too gorgeous to approach... or physically repulsive... one of the two.
So, a woman singling me out in a crowded bar came as a surprise, but only until she suddenly said, “I’m a circus clown.”
“Oh,” I said. “I’ve never met a circus clown. That’s amazing. Do you travel all around the country?”
Her face darkened. “No,” she replied.
“Well, I mean, I did, but right now I’m in dispute with my employer.”
“Who’s your employer?” I asked, wondering if it was circus I’d heard of.
“Well, duh, the ringmaster, obviously – you clown!”
Hmm. Well, that seemed a bit rich coming from her, but I waited for her to continue.
‘The thing is, I’ve got small feet, but the shoes I wear are massive.
“Normally I put up with it but last week the doors didn’t fall off the comedy car when I hit the hooter, so I had to step out with the doors attached and I caught one of my giant shoes in the hinge and fell flat on my face.
“Then, when I was hopping around in pain, the crowd started cheering. They obviously thought it was part of the show.
“But my knee was killing me, and I fell over three times, the last time, straight into the confetti paddling pool, and triggered its detonator.
“I went stumbling around in a giant confetti shower, straight back into my comedy car, and accidentally hit the ‘on’ button and the bloody thing started up while I was still trying to get my feet through the door, so I was holding the wheel, going round and round with the horn beeping and the long shoes dragging along the floor.
“I could’ve been killed if it
