“i find simon hiding in a wardrobe’

BEING CHARMING IN

The most cultured thug in town gets more than he bargained for.

IN A GAME FILLED WITH HORROR CLICHÉS, THIS ONE NATURALLY BEGINS ON A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT, WHEN A COUPLE OF KIDS ENTER AN ABANDONED MANSION. JOIN US AS WE TOO STEP INSIDE THE SPLATTERHOUSE – AND IF YOU’RE FEELING FAINT, JUST KEEP REPEATING, “IT’S ONLY A VIDEOGAME… ONLY A VIDEOGAME…”

IT was what Wendy’s mum would have called a “mulling things over” day. As Wendy gazed out of the café window, puffy clouds sailed in a sky of stone-washed denim. It was the sort of day she and Ray had

He’s good with his fists, but is our fledgling’s charisma up to snuff?

Cradle Of Filth’s corpsepainted frontman on his skate punk roots, exploding basketballs, and 11th-century ghosts