SWEET REAL LIFE
Gem Barker, 37, from Clacton-on-Sea, dreamed of being a mum –being single wouldn’t stand in her way.
Opening a profile, I was looking for the perfect guy.
Charity work. Tick. Baker. Tick. Close with his family. Tick, I thought. Alittle geeky, I like it.
Iwanted anice person who had agood family relationship like I did.
Boiling down to two choices, one had red hair. And I’d always liked guys with red hair.
Confiding in my best friend Jen and sister Lucy, they agreed.
Iwanted to make the best decision.
And this anonymous pool of suitors was no Tinder extravaganza.
Iwasn’t looking for Mr Right in the traditional sense –I had no desire to find a romantic connection.
Instead, Iwas meeting my match via The London Sperm Bank back in 2022.
Iwas looking to find the perfect father.
Ready to start afamily, Iwas going it alone as asingle lady.
It wasn’t the traditional route, but I’ve always done things my own way.
Since Iwas alittle girl, I’d always had amaternal instinct.
Looking after my baby sister Lucy, 33, growing up, Iadored being around children.
I’d try and help my mum Alison, 61, out with Lucy, helping to feed and bathe her. And working at anursery, I loved working with kids.
Looking for the perfect match, this wasn’t Tinder
But single throughout my 20s, trying for ababy hadn’t really been on the cards.
Inever met anyone Isaw myself settling down and having children with.
But come 30, Ilonged for a child of my own.
I’d done the big nights out and the girls’ holidays –Iwas in aplace where Icould devote all my time to ababy. Only my whole life, I’d had horrible painful and irregular periods – and I couldn’t help but wonder if this may also be affecting my fertility. Iknew the pain wasn’t normal.
And in May 2017, Iwas diagnosed with endometriosis. Ineeded an operation to remove the endo in November 2018 and during that time, I shook up my lifestyle.
Losing four stone, Iwanted to be in the best shape so that I could start trying for ababy after the operation.
Even though I didn’t have a partner, Iknew Icould be an amazing mum.
Besides, the clock was ticking –I didn’t have time to wait for aPrince Charming.
Iwas perfectly capable of raising achild myself.
Through my work I’d met some incredible single parents, and my family were an amazing support system.
With over adecade of experience at the nursery, I knew Icould do it.
Iwould be taking on all the night feeds, nappy changes and teething alone –but it was a small price to pay when I’d get so much joy.
And recovering after the operation, Ibegan thinking about my options.
Icould have IVF, I thought. I could use asperm d
