My MIDLIFE CHALLENGE
No phone, no talking, no eye contact – and no dinner. Would a 10-day retreat be just what Sarah Walker, 50, from west London, needed?
Lying in bed, I reached for my phone and, without thinking, I was scrolling through Instagram.
It had become a habit as I lay alone at night.
I was 49 and it was four years since my husband and I had separated. Since then, everything had changed. My ex and I had an estate agency together, until he bought me out. Needing to reboot my life, I’d started my own business, Lessons in Lettings, teaching landlords how to be responsible and letting agencies how to be successful.
I’d also set out to spring-clean my life. I was already a vegan and I’d quit alcohol, and cut out sugar and gluten. Now, though, my mind needed a reset. Partly because of the constant ‘noise’ – phone calls, emails, scrolling… Sometimes, I wanted to scream: ‘SHUT UP!’
A friend recommended a Buddhist technique called Vipassana meditation, which is all about awareness of the breath and the body, sitting still and silent, learning to detach yourself from any itch or pain. I found a 10-day residential course run by the Vipassana Trust, so I booked myself in. While there was no charge for the stay, you could make a donation at the end.
My daughters Tilly, 16, and Poppy,
22, were both excited for me, but it wasn’t going to be easy. It meant 10 days with no phone, no internet, no books, no writing, no talking – not even any eye contact with others. Perfume or scented toiletries were not permitted. It was about focusing on the 10 hours a day of meditation. The food was vegetarian and there was no alcohol, but I was used to that.
Arriving at the retreat in an old manor house near Stowmarket, Suffolk, I sent a last few WhatsApp messages to friends, then I met with the 120 other men and women on the course and we all handed in our phones. In a way, it was a relief to be free of it.
We had three hours to talk to people until the silence began at 6pm. There was a mix o
