In the know
Let the experts help you live in harmony with their simple tips and great advice
While we all want a tranquil home, we don’t get to choose who lives next door to us. Given that clashes with neighbours can ruin our enjoyment of where we live, as well as cost a small fortune if they turn into legal disputes, it helps to know how to keep the peace, even in the most trying of circumstances. According to lawyer Jill Carey, property litigation partner at law firm Freeths: ‘When we’re at home, it’s vital we feel as relaxed and happy as modern life, with all its pressures, allows. Disputes with neighbours can give you a sense of dread whenever you come home or try to relax outside in your garden.
‘Some problems, such as noise, cause actual physical discomfort and loss of sleep, while others, such as parking and rubbish storage, can cause stress and inconvenience. At its worst, this type of conflict can even escalate to physical threats or violence. It can also affect your house value, as you would need to disclose any disputes to a prospective buyer.’
The good news is that whatever the issue, there are skills and steps that can often help prevent rows from escalating.
Head it off before it starts
There was a time when it was common to introduce yourself to your new neighbours by asking to borrow a cup of sugar. These days, half of Britons admit they barely say a word to the people next door, and three quarters don’t even know their names, according to a survey by the Skipton Building Society. This means the first conversation you have could be when you bang on their front door to complain about loud music, says mediator, psychotherapist and founder of UK Mediation Mike Talbot, who has been helping neighbours resolve their conflicts for over 25 years. ‘Even the occasional “hello” in the driveway or street helps build rapport, which can give you invaluable credit when you need to raise an issue,’ adds Mike.
Watch out for confirmation bias – it makes things worse
When you’re annoyed by your neighbour, you can go down the slippery slope of thinking that everything they do is designed to deliberately irritate you, a psychological tendency known as ‘confirmation bias’. Accor
