GUEST SPEAKER
Five minutes early or five minutes late? High-functioning tardy person Amy Lo puts across her arguments for always missing the clock
Let me say this first: no one is truly ‘on time’ – you’re either early or you’re late. But also: the reason I’m late isn’t because I think my time is more important than yours. To me, five minutes to spare before leaving the house seems like so much time. I can curl my hair, pop to the boujee deli on the way – it’s time to be productive, time to spare. I’m late because I’m trying to do more – which makes me an optimist, right? The lateness comes from a good place.
But I understand; you’re an early person. My lateness is the bane of your life, especially when it’s constantly dialled down and you’re always left having to ask how far away I actually am. I call it optimism; you call it delusion. In truth, I dial it down because I don’t want you to hate me even more.
Like many ‘late people’, I’ve tried many times to correct this characteristic about myself. I’ve set alarms on my phone for when I need to leave and adjusted the clock by my dressing table to 10 minutes ahead. But when all’s said and done, I know I’ve set these clocks and alarms, so I know I still have time left. Plus, it’s not always good to be early, is it? Sometimes it’s borderline rude. A few years ago, I had a house party to which a friend turned up half an hour early, and neither I nor the canapés in the oven were ready.
When I’m with fellow late friends, I feel at ease. If I’m seeing my friend Katie for dinner, I instantly feel less pressure as I know my own lateness will be forgiva
