GUEST SPEAKER
AS A MUM OF TWO WITH A BUSINESS TO RUN, TOBI OREDEIN RELIES ON ROUTINES. BUT SHE’S BEGINNING TO WONDER IF SHE IS ALSO HIDING BEHIND THEM…
I read over my handwritten, carefully colour-co-ordinated goals in last year’s diary, I remembered that one of my goals for 2023 was to have more fun: more date nights, more time with friends and more unexpected solo activities. I think as you get older (well, I speak for myself), the responsibilities and routines of life can often strip out the opportunity and/or desire to create spontaneous fun.
There were many emotions I felt in 2023: guilt for working past dinnertime while hearing my kids splashing around in the bath, the stress of keeping a business afloat during an economic downturn and, at times, pride at managing to get the laundry put away (albeit rarely). But spontaneous fun? Those feelings of unbridled joy just because? I’m not sure I prioritised them as I intended to, and I’m starting to wonder if hiding behind routines might be one reason why…
We applaud people, especially women, especially women who are mums, for having routines. Of course, they are essential to make the most of life. Routines keep me grounded, they give me a sense of direction and a fallback plan. Then there’s the fact that, when I don’t stick to them, I am often overcome by a sense of panic and failure. Routines help me feel like I can control a small part of this uncertain, yet wonderful, journey we call life.
Sometimes, though, I use them as an excuse not to have fun or try new things. Like when I nudge my husband to leave family occasions early so we can get our kids home in time for their bedtime routine, as I get worried one night up late could throw their sleeping patterns off a cliff. Or when my friend suggested going together to a new step class I wanted to do, but I turned down the offer because of my rigid Sunday routine of cooking for the week, running errands for my mum, pleading (or warring) with my two headstrong toddlers to go to bed and finishing up leftover work before Monday morning deadlines.
Even when I consider a spot of spontaneous alone time, it’s like I see red alarm bells with the words: ‘What about the routine?’ flashing in neon lights. A few months ago, I was invited to a beauty event and I really want
