The Flamingo Diaries
I ’ve lived through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened,’ Mark Twain once wrote. Never was this more true than when I faced the imminent death of my dad. I feared that, because of his dementia and cancer, he’d end up in a wheelchair, unable to speak or recognise me, and die in agony like my husband, Graham.
Instead, he came for a long drive with me one Sunday, followed by a beer at our favourite pub, caught Covid on the Monday, fell asleep on the Wednesday and passed away peacefully on the Thursday. I held his hand for his last breath while on a video call to my cousin Darian, so neither he nor I was alone at that precious moment.
I couldn’t have scripted a better death. But I still intensely missed the man who’d said he loved my ‘delicious personality’ most of all. When I asked him what he meant, he said, ‘You’re just so vibrant.’ In his final months, we got to know each other better than ever – our love was unconditional and joyous. But this made his loss even more painful. Grief truly is the price we pay for love.
Knowing very few people in Cape Town, where my dad was living when he died, and in desperate need of a hug, I suddenly remembered Nikki Campbell, the woman whose wise words had been instrumental in my Comrades journey, lived nearby. We met for lunch and a catch-up at machine-gun speed ensued: she now had 22 Comrades under her belt and, most impressive of all, had also completed five 100-mile ultras, all on a multi-lap course.
‘My fifth, which took me 25 hours, was my most special,’ Nikki told me. ‘My mum was spectating, as she always did. However, this time, she was terminally ill and in a wheelchair, and had left hospital just to cheer me on.’ Nikki’s mum, The fitting title of elite runner Ryan Hall’s book encourages us to stay in the present rather than letting past failures – in training, races and life – hold us back from achieving our goals.
WORDS TO GIVE YOU WINGS
‘Run The Mile You’re In.’
Sheilagh, died two days later, holding Nikki’s medal, engraved with the words, ‘One lap at a time.’ Because that’s how Nikki got through all her 100-milers �
