‘The food was ready to go – and then I heard a scream…’ David Baddiel recalls an unforgettable Christmas dinner
David Baddiel’s new novel for children aged 8-13 is Virtually Christmas, illustrated by Steven Lenton (HarperCollins Children’s Books, £12.99), and out now
Being Jewish, I grew up not having Christmas and was quite envious of friends who enjoyed it all while my family sat around doing nothing: Hanukkah was over and we were watching everyone else have a party. As I got older and was with people who did celebrate Christmas, I really started to enjoy it. I like preparing Christmas dinner with all the smells and sounds, I love the Morecambeand-Wiseness of it all.
My wife, Morwenna Banks, is Cornish, and we go to Cornwall at Christmas. In 2015, we stayed in Coverack, a lovely little fishing village. Our daughter, Dolly, was 14 and our son, Ezra, 11, so both young enough for Christmas still to be a big deal. There was pressure for this to be a really nice occasion, as the year before my mother had died just before Christmas.
It was shaping up well. We’d spent time with family, but on the big day it was just the four of us. We wanted to make sure the kids had everything they wanted, especially in the way of food. Dolly and my wife are vegetarian, and Dolly had prepared a wonderful nut loaf; my son and I had duck, which I ordered from a fabulous butcher in St Keverne and marinated ready to be cooked.
We always have all the trimmings. One of the few things me and my wife argue about is roast potatoes. She likes them incredibly crispy, I like them a bit crispy but with a soft inside; she cuts them very small and I tend to cut them bigger. I had control of the potatoes that year! We had meat stuffing, vegetarian stuffing, red cabbage, carrots, peas and salad all prepared. In the wings was a luxurious Christmas pudding, and everything you can possibly have to go with it: custard, brandy cream, single cream. And Dolly had made a chocolate yule log.
Everything was smelling lovely and the food was ready to go. We had done the presents and watched the Queen, so it would have been about 5pm and getting pretty dark. My wife wanted to get all the house things out of the way before we b
