Twixtmas – the week between Christmas and New Year – is coming… and with it comes a unique opportunity to recalibrate and reset. Maureen Rice finds out more
Yes, I know we’re all very busy right now, and it’s hard to even imagine it, but soon all the frantic busyness will be over. The presents will be opened, the tin of Roses will be full of discarded wrappers, and we’ll find ourselves in that strange time between Christmas and New Year that has no official name (though ‘Twixtmas’ is a hot contender), no official function and no rules. Does this sound like your idea of heaven or hell? For me, it’s heaven – though that wasn’t always the case, so if you feel differently, I get it. After all, this is a week without the comfort of routines, schedules or structure; a week of spending (yet more) concentrated time with our nearest and dearest. But even given all that, I want to persuade you that this week is the best Christmas gift of all, and one where the benefits last all year. Hear me out.
I had my own Scrooge-like epiphany about this week several years ago. It had been a tough year and I was looking forward to some time off. But once Boxing Day was over, I found my mind wandering to a row I’d had with my sister, the new regime at work, whether I was losing touch with an old friend I used to see regularly, a lukewarm reaction to a gift I’d thought carefully about… I felt anxious and restless, and organised theatre and art-gallery trips, pub drinks and visits to friends to fill the time and distract myself, but ended up feeling more tired and ill at ease than ever. It came to a head when I came home from a performance, dissolved into tears and couldn’t even explain why.
That was when I had my epiphany – a vision of myself as stark and true as Scrooge’s visitations from the ghosts. I had fallen for the double whammy of denial and expectations – other people’s and my own. Did I really have to deliver whatever this year’s version of Perfect Christmas was to feel good about myself? Why was I pushing away my lingering worries about work and friends when that just caused them to fester away in the background? What I really wanted was proper rest and relaxation after a frazzled year. What I really needed was some time and space without distractions, to let those uncomfortable thoughts surface, look at them properly, and work out what was bothering me and what I could do about it. When I looked at those empty days, I saw boredom and cabin fever. When I look at them now, I see precious time: for reflection and connection.
TIME FOR A RETHINK
According to psychotherapist Indira Chima (thecounsellinglivingroom.co.uk), many of us are ready to reappraise those ‘dead days’. ‘Research shows that most of us liked at least some aspects of lockdown. It taught us not to be afraid of empty time. We valued being able to slow down, to just think and be.��
