Our Lives
We’d given our friends something very precious. Now it was time for them to return the favour.
Iraised my glass and chapter of our lives. clinked it against my best The four of us had been friend Neva’s as she made friends for years. I’d known a toast. Neva since we were 18, and at ‘Here’s to the baby the same time I’d met John, swap,’ she said. she’d met Kelsey.
My husband John, and Neva’s Although we lived miles apart wife Kelsey, joined in. we were really close, and John ‘To the swap!’ we all said. and I doted on Neva and To anyone looking on, it Kelsey’s adopted children Adi, might have sounded strange Tig and Hammie. but, to us, it made perfect sense But there was something else and marked an exciting new that bonded us together. All
In the end though, we four of us longed for a biological child.
Edited by Lucy Laing and Miyo Padi. Email mystory@bauermedia.co.uk
For me and John, it was a dream we thought was out of reach after I’d had a hysterectomy due to endometriosis.
As a same-sex couple, Neva and Kelsey also needed help conceiving, but IVF was expensive and a long process.
Then Neva had come up with an idea.
‘John helps us out with a sperm donation to have our child,’ she’d said.
‘Then, in return, either me or Kelsey will carry a baby for you two.’
It was so simple it was brilliant.
But for months all we did was talk about it.
Then at last, I sat down to talk it through properly with John.
‘Do you really think it could work?’ I asked him.
‘It would need a lot of careful thinking about,’ he replied. There was so much to consider. Would it ruin our friendship? I wondered. And how would John feel about his biological child being raised by someone else?
We talked about finances, all the travel involved, and whether we were physically and emotionally ready.
In the end though, we decided the challenges would be worth it, for a chance to see our dream become a reality.
We sat down as a foursome, and I said: ‘We really want to do this.’
‘Great,’ Neva said. ‘Us too!’ So we got the ball rolling straightaway.
Soon after, we went to stay with Kelsey and Neva and, while we sat and chatted, John disappeared to do what was necessary.
When he finished, Neva and Kelsey took his container of sperm and went to their bedroom to inseminate themselves.
None of us expected it to work first time.
But we’d decided on a plan if it did and they both fell pregnant.
One baby would go to us and one to them. If only one of them fell pregnant, they’d raise the first baby and we’d try again. Two weeks later, Kelsey called.
Just from the sound of her voice, I knew what she was go
