Forget everything you've heard about being single, starting with the assumption that it means ready to mingle...
BY ANGELA HAUPT
The marriage rate has been decreasing for decades, and more people than ever before are living solo: nearly 40% of adults in the U.S. are un-partnered, up from 29% in 1990, according to the Pew Research Center. About half aren’t interested in dating or a relationship.
Evidence suggests that people in romantic relationships tend to be happier and have greater life satisfaction than singles, but—as with all relationships—it’s complicated. Research has found, for instance, that people in unhappy marriages have equal or worse health outcomes compared with those who were never married. Another important caveat: the singles who have the hardest time with their relationship status tend to be divorced people. Widowhood is also associated with worse mental health.
Researchers are only beginning to understand how singlehood affects health and happiness, and the solo life comes with surprising perks, says Bella DePaulo, a (happily single) social psychologist. “Once I realized that single was who I really was, and that was never going to change, it was wonderful,” she says.
As the new science of singlehood crystallizes, here are some of the most intriguing lessons researchers have uncovered about how to pursue a fulfilling, meaningful, and psychologically rich solo life.
1. Identify the upsides
Long-term singles tend to have certain values in common, like cherishing “freedom, independence, and even creativity and nonconformity more than others,” says Elyakim Kislev, a researcher at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem and author of books including Happy Singlehood. In one study, hundreds of unpartnered men and women rated having more time for themselves, being able to focus on their goals, and not having anyone else dictate their actions as the top perks of a solo life.
2. Don’t rush to couple up
People who focus on what they don’t have “often find themselves miserable,” Kislev says. His research indicates that the more someone wants a relationship, the less satisfied they’ll be with their single life. It’s key to find ways to enjoy your current relationship status. Even if you eventually want to couple up, take stock of
