IN THE CROSSHAIRS THIS MONTH…
FILM QUOTES POSE AS QUESTIONS. FILM STARS TRY TO COPE.
You talkin’ to me?
This is going to be absolute chaos. I’ve read these pieces before and how do you even answer these questions? So, you talkin’ to me?... [Laughs] How many people have done really shitty impressions [of Robert De Niro in Taxi Driver]? I’m not even going to attempt it. So… Yes, I am talking to you.
I suppose you think you’re brave, don’t you?
I’d like to think so. I feel it’s a mixture of delusion and insanity to go and do this sort of job, so there’s got to be some bravery in there somewhere. It’s scary. Some days I think, ‘What are you doing?’ Anything creative… it’s such a weird thing. There’s a part of you, somewhere deep inside, that believes you can do this. And then you’re met with all of your doubts. Everyone assumes that, as an actor, you love being the centre of attention. But it’s a constant battle. You have days when you wake up and think, ‘I just don’t want to be seen. I want to hide.’ Those are tough days. And you also have days where you think, ‘This is some of the worst acting ever committed to camera.’ It’s up and down. But some of the best stuff comes out when you are in that state, because you end up taking risks. Some pay off, some really fucking don’t.
Are you gonna bark all day, little doggy, or are you gonna bite?
Er… I’ll bite. Why not? When I was younger, I was too afraid to even bark. For so long, I was just grateful that I got to do this as a job, because it’s all I ever wanted to do. I felt I wasn’t allowed to complain or be frustrated. Then I moved to barking and now I’m biting.
How much can you know about yourself if you’ve never been in a fight?
I haven’t been in a fight since school. Probably pre-teen. I was watching this documentary last night called The Disappearance of Shere Hite, and it was all about The Hite Report. Shere Hite wrote this book all about female sexuality. It was in the 70s when no one was talking about it. And it brought up all this stuff about masculinity. This survey had been sent out to 3,000 people, and men responded so violently. Watching it, I thought, ‘Fucking hell, this whole idea of masculinity – being a man, and being violent, or physical – it’s so ingrained.’ I don’t believe you need to be in a fight to know who you are.
Do you have an off switch?
No. I’m desperate to find one. I did a thing a couple of years ago for Netflix, this horror show [The Haunting of Hill House], and I played a heroin addict. It was a ninemonth shoot and it was rough. That was really hard to switch off [from]. When you’re ramping this stuff up, your body doesn’t really know what’s real and what’s not.
