Modern life
Turn off your computer, put your phone away – offline dating is back. Consider this your guide to finding a first-class companion in midlife
*NAMES CHANGED TO PROTECT IDENTITY – AND FUTURE DATING POTENTIAL
Having once embraced online dating with enthusiasm, reports suggest midlifers are tiring of it. It has its success stories – the divorced woman who met her match after stating on her profile ‘must have an Aga’ – yet for many, the search for a suitable partner on Tinder all too often results in a dispiriting, rejecting swipe left.
One attractive divorcee in her 50s told me, ‘When I first tried internet dating, I was amazed by the number of guys in their 30s who wanted to hook up. It was flattering, but there’s no way I’d date anyone younger than my son. Maybe I was just unlucky, but the men my age seemed to be looking either for a much younger woman or a carer.’
At this stage of life, we know what we want and our mood is shifting back to ‘real-time interaction’. A single friend in her 40s says, ‘As a businesswoman and mother, I’m really fed up with the time-wasters who go great guns, then “ghost” you. My time’s too precious for that kind of waste of emotional energy. I’d much rather get off my laptop and do something fun, whether I meet a guy or not.’
If you’re newly single, the prospect of real-life dating again can seem daunting. Gone are the days of being chatted up in the late-night student bar, or being set up with some nice chap at a friend’s first dinner party. Be glad! There are exciting avenues to explore.
Step one is to jot down what you want, all your interests, loves, likes and loathes. Keen to travel? The world’s your oyster. Your ex never understood your passion for country houses/Italian wine/cubist art/tennis? Here’s your chance to find someone who might feel the same.
Dating coach Nikki Novo says her clients are most likely to meet someone when they ‘hang out at places that make them feel good, such as an independent coffee shop, a bar that plays their favourite music, or a fitness community’.
‘Billionaire matchmaker’ Anna Bey, founder of the School of Affluence, recommends high-end grocery stores, antique shops, museums and airports as great places to strike up a conversation with a well-heeled man during winter.
WHERE ELSE DO DISCERNING DATABLES GO TO FIND LOVE?
Cruises
Some ships – such as Norwegian Cruise Line’s, which have a complex of solo cabins – will attract more singles. Dating coach Jo Barnett says, ‘There will be plenty of unattached people and it’s such a relaxed atmosphere that romance has a head start. Talk to people, let them know you’re single. Seek out opportunities, because the person you w
