Agony aunt
Our relationships expert Anna Richardson will help solve your problems
‘I want surgery to make my boobs smaller – but my friends and family are talking me out of it’
QI have very large breasts and I’ve always been self-conscious of them. I hate looking in the mirror, I can’t wear the clothes I like, and I get a lot of unwanted attention, particularly from men. I’m in my 40s and it’s still making my life utterly miserable. I want to get a breast reduction but my friends, husband and family say I should embrace my body, which makes me feel even worse. What should I do?
ATrying to explain to somebody else the complexity of our relationship with our breasts, particularly if they’re ‘too large’, is no easy thing. I have a personal interest in your dilemma because it’s a problem I have myself. And the issues begin, of course, with puberty. We’re the same generation so if your childhood was anything like mine, it would go something like this. A happy little girl was astonished to wake up one day with boobs. Boobs that never stopped growing.
There were no nice bras for young teenagers in the 1980s, so she’d hide her breasts with baggy tops and hold them during PE lessons, lest she gave herself two black eyes.
The problem is, boobs elicit a reaction and we find ourselves having strong opinions about them, even when they’re not ours. Perhaps that’s why the British Association of Aesthetic Plastic Surgeons (BAAPS) says breast enlargement remains the most popular cosmetic surgery in the UK, followed by breast reduction. We just don’t know how we’re ‘meant’ to look in a hyper-sexualised world obsessed with diet and body shape.
What’s clear, though, is that you’re not happy. So let’s start with some facts. If you’re thinking of having your breast surgery on the NHS, you would need to evidence serious problems you’re experiencing because of their size. That might include shoulder or neck pain, back ache, sores and irritated skin, inability to exercise or psychological distress.
The first stop would be your GP, who’ll ensure you’re a healthy weight (if not, you may be asked to lose some), ask if you’ve exhausted all other options and may refer you for a psychological assessment.
If you’re deemed suitable for surgery on the NHS, the final decision will be made by your local ICB (Integrated Care Board). To be honest, it’s a slog and will come down to debilitating and chronic pain, rather than how they look. That’s why many opt to go private instead, at a cost
