Agony aunt
‘My dad has type 2 diabetes but he refuses to change his lifestyle – should I give up trying?’
*ANNA MAY CHOOSE YOUR DILEMMA TO DISCUSS ON IT CAN’T JUST BE ME
Q Mydad is 78 and has type 2 diabetes. He is overweight and complains constantly about how ill he feels, yet sticks with his unhealthy diet. My sister and I cook him proper meals when we visit, and plead with him to eat fresh fruit or veg but he ignores us – should we just accept he is an adult and leave him to it?
AI feel your pain. My dad is 82, type 2 diabetic, overweight, and our conversations go something like this: ‘Dad, why have you got white bread, doughnuts, fizzy squash and a bottle of wine in the fridge? And why have you just put two teaspoons of sugar in your tea?’ to which he responds: ‘Can you pass me the custard tarts, darling?’
There are two problems at play with your dilemma: your dad’s physical disease and his emotional response to food. It can be a dance, quite literally, of death. And regardless of how your dad might feel about his situation, it’s painful for those of us watching on.
So let’s deal with the ‘easy’ part first – the type 2 diabetes. This is the more common kind of diabetes, which causes blood sugar levels to become too high because the body’s cells don’t respond normally to insulin, the hormone that’s released after eating. While type 2 can be hereditary, it’s also closely linked to diet, being overweight and lack of exercise. Symptoms include blurred vision, tingling and numbness in the hands and feet, and slow-healing wounds. If left unchecked, it can cause serious and chronic complications, including heart attacks, strokes and certain cancers. The maddening part is that it can be prevented – plus, with the right diet and exercise, even reversed. So, that’s why you have my wholehearted sympathy when it comes to your struggle with your dad and his disordered eating.
Now the tricky part. You say that you’ve spent years ‘trying to get him to eat properly’. The problem with disordered eating is that there is always an emotional element attached to it. Your dad now has a serious health condition that’s directly correlated to his weight and diet – so why wouldn’t he want to look after himself? He may feel bored, lonely or angry, he may be using food as a replacement for love, or he may feel comforted
