One in three families are now made up of two ‘merged’ households. Woman delves deeper
WORDS: MISHAAL KHAN. PHOTOS: INSTAGRAM @XKATEFERDINAND, KEN MCKAY/ITV/SHUTTERSTOCK
Once upon a time, a traditional family was portrayed as a mother, father and their two adoring children. But over the years, the ‘norm’ has changed and as families experience death, separation and divorce, we’re seeing more and more ‘blended’ families.
The term refers to a number of set-ups, including new partners, half-siblings, step-parents and step-siblings, and in the UK, more than 297,000 families are now blended. TV personality Kate Ferdinand has spoken openly about her struggles and fears when she became a stepmother to her husband Rio’s three children after the death of his wife. And now, with a child of her own and another on the way, she has penned a new parenting book, How to Build a Family, which explores different family dynamics and offers relatable advice.
Merging two families can undoubtedly come with a number of new challenges but it can also be a chance to find happiness again, for everyone involved. Woman explores this further, and speaks to one woman about the challenges she faced when she merged her family with that of her new partner…
‘I’M PROUD OF THE PATCHWORK FAMILY WE’VE CREATED’
Rosie Gill-Moss, 42, lives in West Malling with her husband Jon, 45, and their children Monty, 13, Hector, 10, Holly, nine, and Tabitha, five.
Five years ago, my life was a far cry from what it looks like now. In March 2018 I was happily married to Ben, then 42, and we were looking forward to celebrating our upcoming 10th anniversary with our loved ones, including our three children, Monty, then seven, Hector, five, and six-month-old Tabitha. But days later, Ben was dead. An experienced scuba diver, he’d been diving off the coast of Dover and gone missing. His body was never found.
Losing Ben brought a pain I’d never experienced. I carried on for the sake of our children but felt numb from the inside out – it was like I was just in survival mode, simply existing for the kids.
In time I contacted the charity Widowed and Young (WAY), making friends with other widowed men and women. That really helped me process my grief and I was able to start moving forward with my life. I still couldn’t think about being with anyone else though – I couldn’t imagine loving anyone like I loved Ben.
But then in June 2019, after a group trip to the Lake District with friends from WAY, I found myself getting closer to Jon, then 42. He’d lost his
