SUZIE HAYMAN AND SUSAN QUILLIAM CAN HELP
Missing sex with my ex
Q My partner and I moved in together during the pandemic and things were great. But when the crisis was over we drifted apart and separated amicably. He’s dating again and I’m delighted for him. But when I spotted them in the pub recently, kissing passionately, I remembered just how amazing our sex life was during lockdown. I don’t want to be back with my ex, so what’s going on here?
SUSAN SAYS
A The pandemic was a terrible experience. But for many couples, stress – and an awareness of how short life is – fuelled passion. And, just as in World War Two, sex became very intense. Missing that intensity, rather than missing your ex, is what you’re feeling now. But don’t panic. Given the right partner, a strong emotional connection and willingness to explore, you can create a wonderful sex life with someone new!
Help! I can’t climax
Q I’m a real addict about pleasuring myself. Luckily my husband of 30 years is enthusiastic about self-pleasuring too and most nights we take, or give each other, a climax before we go to sleep. But lately I’m finding it more and more difficult to reach orgasm. This feels sad for both of us, especially so close to Valentine’s Day. Do you have any tips to help me climax again?
SUSAN SAYS
A You don’t say how old you are. But a 30-year marriage suggests you’re 50ish and experiencing the menopause. So your hormone shift is lowering your arousal and lubrication levels, making orgasm less easy. I’d talk to your doctor about hormone replacement treatment. Add extra lubrication. Buy a vibrator for varied sensation. And, with your ‘enthusiastic’ husband, update the kind of caresses and foreplay you need as your body moves into this new phase.
I’m furious about an argument
Q I’ve had an awful row with someone I hardly know. She took exception to something she thought I’d said to a friend and dressed me down in front of other people. I was not only mortified but furious because she never gave me a chance to explain she’d got it wrong – she kept shouting over me. Now I just can’t stop thinking about it.
SUZIE SAYS
A When someone has decided they’re angry they’re often so flooded with negative emoti
