SUZIE HAYMAN AND SUSAN QUILLIAM CAN HELP
I’m so fed up with life
Q I’m 54 and have suddenly realised how awful my life is. My husband’s lovely and I wouldn’t want to leave him, but we have nothing in common. My son and his wife are lovely too, but they live abroad. My job pays OK and is nearby, but it bores me to tears. Plus, we moved house a few years ago and I’ve never made new friends. How can I turn things around?
SUSAN SAYS
AIt’s not surprising you feel life’s awful – you’re lonely, bored and without purpose. What you need is to take action. It doesn’t have to be a huge change, just something to break you out of your rut. Get a new job. Take a course. Volunteer. Find a fresh interest – one your husband can share. Do something, anything, to shake things up. Meet new people, find a new role, and you’ll get back your love of life.
My daughter won’t listen to me
Q My eldest grandchild is 11 and I’ve offered to take her on a weekend to a French theme park. She is so excited, but my daughter is furious. She says it would be unfair to take her without her four-year-old brother. I’ve said I’ll take him when he’s older but she won’t listen.
SUZIE SAYS
A One gran, two children, on a weekend abroad? That sounds a lot! Grandparents are so important to children and one thing they will value for their entire lives is the time you spent focused on them, individually. Yes, you’ll repeat the joy with the younger one, when he is of an age to benefit from and manage it. A birthday present when he gets to that age. Explain this to your daughter calmly, and say you either take your granddaughter alone, or not at all.
How do I resolve the situation?
Q There’s a lovely lady working at my local supermarket. She’s aware of the struggles I have with the cost of living and often points me to reductions and good deals. A few months ago I took my mother a cake I’d bought. She wanted to know how I’d afforded it, and I told her about this woman. She then started treating her like a personal shopper and when she couldn’t mark down something my mother wanted, complained to the manager, which got her into trouble. I’m mortified; what can I do?
SUZIE SAYS
A full apolog
