Isabel Webster says what you’re thinking
WOULD YOU GO ON HOLIDAY WITHOUT YOUR KIDS?
I remember those first few weeks of motherhood, vividly. There was joy, yes. But there was also a feeling I wasn’t prepared for: and that was grief for my old life. It wasn’t just me who felt it. My husband also wondered if we’d ever sleep again, ever eat a meal uninterrupted, ever feel like our old selves.
Our relationship became largely about the division of chores and responsibilities. Not exactly sexy! Holidays also brought little respite. Trying to juggle naps, feeds and nappy changes around flights and security was almost enough to put me off going away altogether. Who hasn’t seen parents at the airport trying to manage buggies, Trunki bags, toddlers and babies and wondered if it’s worth all the trouble?
Travel writer Annabel Chown has concluded that it’s not. She and her husband prefer to leave their four-year-old son behind and go it alone. What ‘bliss’ she describes – and she points out, it’s ‘cheaper than divorce’.
While that may be true, would I ever leave the kids behind? Is that the ultimate act of self-care – investing time in yourself and your relationship. Or is it, frankly, selfish?
For me, I’ve never fancied my husband more than when he’s on the beach digging sandcastles or being splashed by the kids while I top up my tan. The cliché about sandy toes and salty kisses rings true for us – happiest when together, with the stress of our jobs and our punishing daily routines a million miles away.
We’ve long settled into the joys of parenting our eight-year-old son and six-year-old daughter. Far from ruining our lives, our children have brought untold joy, new perspective and true motivation for success and healthy living. They make us laugh and feel wanted.
Besides, who would take care of them while we laze around poolside, without them? What would we tell them? ‘Sorry kids, it’s just not enjoyable with you little fun sponges in tow’?
You only get 18 summers until the nippers flee the nest. They say 75% of the time you’ll ever spend with your children is over by the time they turn 12 and 90% by the time they turn 18. I know who I’ll be spendi
