Rachel Bailey and her partner found a different way to feel connected
Some women feel close to their partner by going for romantic candlelit dinners, others crave physical touch. For me and my husband Alex, it’s something a bit more unconventional – breastfeeding. You’re probably reeling in shock, but actually, it’s had a hugely positive effect on our relationship and helped us find an even deeper connection.
It began on a holiday with Alex’s family in 2017, when our daughter Aria was just a year old. Alex and I had been together for five years and also had a son, Troy, then two. We’d left the kids at home with my parents and the cruise was a well-needed rest away from toddler tantrums.
I’d pumped enough milk for Aria before leaving, but my breasts quickly became engorged with the milk Aria wasn’t there to drink. Rummaging for my breast pump in my suitcase on the first day, I started to panic as I realised I’d left it at home.
Desperate measures
I knew I couldn’t go a whole week without expressing my breast milk. But with no pumps on board the ship, I was running out of options. That’s when Alex’s aunt made an outlandish suggestion – maybe he could drink my milk.
At first, I was shocked and embarrassed at the prospect. Just imagine! Alex, a grown man, being breastfed by his wife – it was unheard of. But as my breasts grew more painful, I worried not only about the pain ruining my holiday, but about developing an infection, too. In the confines of our cabin, Alex and I discussed his aunt’s idea again, and how desperate I was due to the pain I was in.
In the end Alex offered to give it a go. By now I was willing to try anything so I pulled down my top for him to drink my milk. The relief was almost instant, and according to Alex it didn’t taste so bad, either.
Every day of the trip we would start with a 10-minute breastfeeding session on our bed before I’d put on my bikini and head for a lounge by the pool. As strange as it seemed, knowing Alex was there to help me get rid of my excess milk meant I could relax and enjoy the holiday, and his family thought it was a great solution.
Relaxing routine
Getting home a week later, we kept our holiday-breastfeeding secret to ourselves. I’d already been weaning Aria on to formula before our trip, so had started to produce less and less breast milk anyway.
It wasn’t until three years later, in 2020, when I fell pregnant with our third child that breastfeeding once again became an import
