Clare O’Reilly knows all too well that being the golden child comes with a lot of pressure
WORDS: CLARE O’REILLY. MAIN PHOTO (POSED BY MODEL): GETTY
Ask any younger sibling and they’ll ‘fess up to being competitive with their kin. I’m certainly guilty as charged when it comes to my older brother Michael – I can recall with startling clarity the exact moment he went from being my lovely big brother to competition that needed to be crushed and annihilated.
It was a Sunday afternoon, circa 1991. I was complaining to my mum Irene about my maths homework, which Michael always found easy. She lovingly told me that it didn’t matter that I wasn’t as good at maths as my brother, because I was good at sport.
I know she was trying to make me feel better, to show that each and every one of us has different areas in which we excel. But while she intended to build my confidence, when I caught her proud look at my brother and his ‘top set’ smile back, it made my ‘bottom set’ blood boil.
While I tried to feign ambivalence, it ignited a spark of competition – a ‘win at all costs’ attitude where I wouldn’t rest until I was my parents’ favourite. It took a year or two to topple him from the top spot and take his ‘favourite child’ mantle, and I’ve retained the title since. I’m successful and happy now but, growing up, Michael was the one that thrived while I sat awkwardly in his shadow. He was funny, smart, charismatic and popular. I was painfully shy, lanky and awkward.
Yes, I was good at sport but outside of that I struggled.
Operation Favourite Child kicked in that Sunday in 1991 and while I’m sure I’m still my parents’ favourite – something my long-suffering brother likes to remind me of frequently – it’s become a title that I wish he’d try and wrestle back from me.
Unwanted title
In all honesty, I’m not sure I want to be their favourite any more, but I can’t face the failure that will come with letting my brother usurp me.
Both Mum and Dad would vehemently want me to point out here that they never, ever compared us. They accepted that we were different kids and have become different adults. I’ve conferred with my brother for the purposes of transparency and both of us are subjected to around five minutes per phone call on what our opposition has been achieving and what important things have been going on at their job.
My brother has a high-flying executive job, and I’m a national newspaper journalist and
